When You Need a Friend

When you’re a blogger it’s easy to get caught up in the on-line world.  Don’t get me wrong community happens on Twitter and in your Facebook stream.  I will be the first to raise my hand and admit that I have developed deep and lasting relationships that go beyond the screen and the snappy 140 character one liners with many of my on-line friends.


And, while I don’t deny the power of the internet in my life, I also need to remember that there is a flesh and blood community whom I connect with weekly and who love me deeply. I am learning that looking a friend in the eye and breathing the same air is just as important. Those relationships need to be fostered and given space to grow – with the same amount of fervor as the hours we spend checking who liked what post and how many tweeps favourited our wit and humour.

This past week I discovered that my time online was disproportionate to the time I was spending in real life. I know!  I know!  Ouch!


I spent the day in whimsy with a beautiful friend.




We slung cameras around our necks and basked in the beauty of the first warm weather we’d seen in ages.  The sun warmed our faces and we began to dance in only the way that friendship can.  We laughed at ourselves and she talked about how I wasn’t to take any pictures of her.  There were moments that passed in complete silence as if the bond we were forging was too fragile for words.


And over pots of tea and egg salad sandwiches I began to see how we are destined for community.  How Christ-like it is to live shoulder to shoulder.  I learned how looking my sister in the eye is so much of what my heart needed.

We aren’t meant to live alone.  We aren’t meant to live in some amoebic state.

Christ called us the body.  He called us to live and move and work as one.




Sometimes that means setting aside a schedule which stamps its foot in impatience and taking the time to walk through glory one sun dappled moment at a time.

Today’s giveaway is in honour of community.   Take some time this coming week and remember what it feels like to be part of the body of Christ.  Maybe it’s the woman you barely know but with whom you shared a laugh, or the one who shakes your hand every Sunday but you’ve never really met.  Maybe it’s the bestest friend you’ve known your entire life and it’s been way too long since you’ve hugged her neck.

Take them out for coffee; laugh some, cry some, live some. And then?

Maybe a week later slip a note in the mail and let them know how much their time meant to you.

My friends Crystal and Julie are making this moment happen for one of my readers.  Both of these ladies, whom I have met in real life, have touched my life in deep and meaningful ways.  Crystal loves to share dreams and hearts over a cup of coffee so she has donated a Starbucks Gift card (enough to share).  Julie makes beautiful cards, a few of which I have had the pleasure of receiving so you can slip that precious note in the mail – the old fashioned way 🙂 

Starbucks2 cards

I am a coffee-loving, toddler chasing, color-coded spreadsheet making, word girl who loves building and finding community online. This little writing space originally started as a private site where I could journal, post thoughts from my day. In 2009, God put it on my heart to make my blog public and begin using it for His glory.
I am a paper-crafter, writer, blogger. I am a wife to one ruggedly handsome man and mom to four beautiful children. I am a child of God, thankful for everyday grace. I am thankful for the gift of creativity and enjoy using it to create one-of-a-kind notecards for any occasion.

When You Need a Friend


Missed the other giveaways it’s not too late to enter here. 

New Beginnings 

The Myth of Abundance {or The Gift of Suffering}

Past Reflections {Psalm 105}


  1. Love, love, love this post. And needed the reminder to get out with some of my new friends. Thanks, Tonya!

  2. I, too, am learning that my off line friendships need as much (if not more) attention than my online ones do. I also need to be as open to cultivating new inRL friendships as easily as I do sitting at the keyboard. I think God for all my friends and the beauty they each bring to my life.

  3. Girlie – you KNOW how much I love every little thing about this post! Seriously… cameras and pictures, egg salad and pots of tea… Starbucks and handmade cards? All of that plus a call to Community… perfect!

  4. Yippee! LOVE the new blog design .. well done!! And many thanks to all who have made these giveaways possible!!

  5. I am learning also that I need to be intentional to form and nurture these friendships….because honestly many online friendships can fail when you are in hard times and are not online as much. These in person relationships, they breathe so much life and encouragement, and they know me….I mean really know me, behind the screen. They see my many imperfections, and they still stick around.

  6. One of my favorite, favorite things is (in)RL time over coffee with a friend. LOVE it! And love to you, friend…so excited for you and your beautiful, *new* space!!! 🙂

  7. Kelley

    So true! After a rough weekend, a friend said “how can we help you?”. I said “help us have some fun!”. So they took us along on a day trip to some towns and places we have never visited, laughing and talking for 13 hours. Today we went to a concert in our small town city park. A woman from church, a church I still feel “new” at, made a point to come over and sit next to me for awhile. We shared a little about painful parenting seasons, and bonded over those similar struggles.

  8. Deb Cote

    It’s easier I think to stand back and wait for others to take the initiative.
    Sometimes I feel like a spectator watching sister with sister embracing friendship and growing together. Loneliness is like a bushel I set over my head and keeps me from reaching out. Streams of light slide through its weave, just enough so I know there’s more out there. But lifting the heaviness of its barrier, so that I too can participate in community is daunting and I see now that courage is the only real way to this freedom.

    • Deb… I love that “Courage is the only real way to freedom” – so glad that we do life together friend. So, so glad!

  9. Carley Sullivan

    Such a sweet reminder of the model Christ has set for us of community! He did call us the body and only when we are embracing the need for others in our everyday real life do we find the peace and joy that God designed for us!

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