Wait

The birds are singing right outside the window.  The washing machine is thrumming through the spin cycle. The house is quiet, save for the noise of life and her own breathing.
She spends her morning in this room looking for God.  Trying to uncover Him with books and the skin-thin pages of a once neglected Bible.  She bleeds black ink almost daily in hopes that truth with soak into her soul just as the ink soaks into the pages of her journal.
There are mornings when the search feels desperate, contrived even.  Her heart heavy from the day before, the week before.  And as her pen scratches her heart she recalls those things that bring the dark of regret and shame.
A misunderstanding, a word spoken in haste, the voice that tears holes in a soul.  All of it creating a sticky film over the lens of clarity with which she longs to view the world.
Sometimes her vision is so clouded she rushes through her morning.  A race that must be won, the baton of perfection creating busy at every turn. Her soul times becoming more of a monotonous chore than the wide-eyed wonder of meeting with her Creator.
It’s frustrating when blur is all you see- when all of your regrets flash by, each taunting as they pass.  It’s hard to find rest when you’re churned up and spilled out and achy from shame.
So she rushes through her reading and her prayers, rushes right out of her warm and cozy room in hopes of escaping the blame she dons like a sackcloth.  She runs back to the comfort of routine.
Just when frustration is coming to the last frayed thread she feels a hand on her shoulder, a whisper in her ear.  She feels the Spirit move with in her soul.
“Wait patiently for [Me].  Be brave and courageous.  Yes wait patiently for [Me]
Psalm 27:14 NLT
She struggles against it at first – struggles against what may come when her soul quiets and the waters of her soul become stirred by the palm of His hand. But, with the sound of her breath filling her lungs and exhaling long she realizes that He doesn’t need to be found, to be scrounged up or conjured.  He already is.
He already IS.
She sinks back into her chair and lets out one long breath after another and realizes that He cares more deeply for her than the bird singing its lovely morning song.

Wait patiently – He is there.   


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