Trust in the LordPosted by Tonya Salomons on Aug 4, 2016 in Journal | 0 comments
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:56
I’ve read that verse a thousand times growing up. In fact it was part of the private school logo I attended for most of elementary school days. Yet, here I am almost 45 years old and I’m still not sure I fully comprehend its significance.
While I may be unsure of what the verse means, I know beyond a shadow of doubt that its instructions do not come easily to me. Relinquishing my own thoughts, ideas and plans is hard for me.
Change happens when you let go and I’m not generally inclined to let go… ever.
I would rather the familiar. Even if familiar means standing still, or living with hurt. So I move through my days paralyzed to move past the surface in my relationship with Jesus because that would mean I’m letting go of the control I think I have.
And there it is, isn’t? What control do I really have?
God’s purpose for His Kingdom is going to happen, regardless of what I do or don’t do. Thankfully his plans don’t rely on my acquiescence.
Daily I sit in this tension. The tension between wanting to relinquish my life to Christ and find the glories of his Kingdom in every moment and the desire to control every facet of my being. From the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning I want my day to go perfectly, smoothly according the purpose that I feel is the most important, according to the purpose that I set.
It’s a struggle that’s been a constant companion for as long as I can remember and even now I’m not quite sure how to move from a life that needs to be in control to one that lives in the freedom of Christ.
Please don’t misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong with planning, nothing wrong with using the understanding that God has bestowed upon us to make decisions throughout our day. But what I would rather, is to rest on the assurance that there is no plan, no idea that God is unfamiliar with.
So where do you find it? How do you begin to find yourself safe in the palm of his hand, with a keen understanding that every second of your day is known to him?
Why am I so afraid to approach my time with him palms-open, trusting his understanding of my life? I mean who better to know me, to understand my innermost workings than the one who knew me before I was even a flicker of life?
I pray daily that God would transform my fear of losing control into a fear of Him. Not a cowering fear – but one that is complete and has me plunging with wild abandon into the fullness of who he is and the work and purpose that is unfolding in his name.
Leaning not on our own understanding doesn’t mean we should lack the intelligence to live thoughtful, present and good lives. It simply means that we step out in faith that the thoughtful and good is God’s plan as well.