The Nine Years Before

Change is coming.  No. Scratch that.  Change is here.  It has moved in, settled and is about to shift the gears of my life.

I would be lying if I told you that I’m not panicked. That anxiety is not resting somewhere between my excitement and the next chapter.

This week I leave my job of nine years.  Nine years of service to one organization and I have voluntarily walked away from it.  I typed up the letter and sat across from my supervisor and told him it was time. It was time that I pursue my education and become a full time student. 

For nine years, in one role or another, I have met countless people, most of whom receive some sort of government social assistance.  People who have sat in my workshops or shared the same office space as me.

For nine years I have witnessed how fear can be a pre-cursor to anger.  And, how anger and bitter can be a shield against disappointment and reality.

For nine years I have watched tears water my office floor as clients have bravely attempted to eke normal – life- out of nothing and impossibility.

For nine years I have encountered more crossed arms, rolling eyes and belligerent postures  than a house-full of angst ridden teens. 

For nine years these are the people I have worked with and I have been blessed to know every one.

I have witnessed compassion at work.  The genuine care and concern of colleagues as they bravely looked apathy in the eyes and dared to peek behind the veil of anger.  I have seen dreams spark and heard life sigh as person after person chose to take the next step – no matter how difficult.

I have seen self-esteem and pride straighten spines and pick up feet because the belief of just one other person, the investment into their lives, made hope the straight edge by which all things are measured.

I have been fortunate to work for an organization who chooses – CHOOSES – to see the inherent value of the individual based solely on the fact that they trod they same earth, not on what they have or have not done.  
The sign above the door as you enter the foyer reads “Building New Futures,” little did I know that it would be my future that was being built.  Little did I know that the aforementioned straight-edge for pride and self-esteem would have me holding my head a little higher. 
You see, not only was I blessed to work with these people, I am blessed because I AM one of these people.  One of these peple who needed to be reminded that dreams require only a spark to ignite.  They require only a breath of possibility to make the seemingly impossible probable.  
I became aware of who I could be, who I am, while working there.  Saw what my life could be because  the leadership saw something in me that I didn’t know existed.  It was if someone had handed them a glimpse into my future, and they held that in trust until I was ready. 
And when that time came they became my biggest cheerleaders. They were there when the call and the tears came one hot summer afternoon, the call that would put me on a trajectory to a dream I never knew I had – obtain a degree – and the tears because I was so sure the answer would be no. 
They were there to hear every gripe, listen to every anxiety about how I’ll never succeed and there were times, I’m sure, when their eyes rolled back far in their heads with every exclaimed “I am sooooooo gonna fail this__________” (insert assigment, quiz, test, paper etc.).  And when the time came, the time when I dragged my feet to take this gigantic plunge, they ever so gently guided and counselled and gave me the space I needed to make a life altering decision. 
I have been blessed to work these last nine years for the same organization that was willing to see past my lack of education and allow me to engage with work that fuels my passion, a passion for people.  I have been blessed to have been provided with the resources both financially and professionally, to make sure that success was the only option. 
I have been blessed with immeasurably more than I could have ever imagined these past nine years.  It is with gratitude and humility that I take this next step – knowing that I couldn’t have done it with out my clients, my colleagues and the amazing leadership team. 
Change is here. 

1 Comment

  1. “dreams require only a spark to ignite. They require only a breath of possibility to make the seemingly impossible probable.” Thanks you so much for this reminder.

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