Playing the Lottery with Faith

When did I start looking for my faith at the end of the rainbow?  When did believing in the goodness of God mean I only believed when things were good?

I struggle with a faith that includes hardship and suffering.  I admit that sometimes God becomes my lottery and not my life. 

So much of what I ask for is from the posture of begging or complaining.  As I sit in my abundance I pound my fists and beg for more.  Surely there is more than this, surely this is not at all what God intended.  Surely my relationship with Jesus means finding gilded faith at the end of the rainbow. 

We are believers.  Believers of the resurrecting, grave-robbing, life-giving power of Jesus and yet we roll the dice of prayer requests.  We roll the dice, we cross our fingers and hope that God will finally hit the jackpot. 

So I parade my cheap faith and cover up my broken with “I’m fine” because surely this moment, this time that has me bending in pain is not from God.

Oh the mockery I make of His suffering, His sacrifice.  The mockery that has me turning my fingers inward, tightly clenching my fists around all that He has given.  The mockery that has my stance moving from knees bent in worship to fist-shaking anger.   

Christ’s wounds, the stripes on His back, the holes in His flesh should be the only thing that brings us to our knees — Every. Single. Time.

We are believers, not of a Pollyanna-faith, but we are earth shaking, stone rolling away, death defying believers. 

May our posture always be open and full of the knowledge of His sacrifice and not the dice-rolling prosperity faith that has us gambling on the odds of His goodness. 

He is GOOD!!!

ALL the time! 

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