Live from Allume

I am not sure my heart can hold any more. God has placed me in this place for a reason, and I am full.  I have dug in deep and captured every moment of this time and I am undone.  There is activity happening all around me.  Reunions, first time meetings, arms flung with abandon around necks and eyes brimming with wet.

Quiet conversations fill the air with a hum, a symphony of friendship.  Heads bent, as tears that can not be contained, finally spill over.  There has been a laying on of hands, as wounds red and raw, have  been exposed and God has sealed hurts with the salve of Redeeming Blood.  We have come together in this place to expect the holy and God, in all of His vastness, has met us here and He came with wonder cupped in the palm of His hands.

I am feeling slightly dazed with this wonder of God, that shines bright as the stars on the faces of 453 women, and it is from this galaxy of beauty that He shows me my heart.

A woman who wouldn’t let me go when I tried to unobtrusively slip her a note.  Who cupped my face and looked into my eyes and said words that spoke straight to my heart.  A woman who has made it her life’s work to cheer for women whether they live in Africa or Ohio.  Who opens her heart as wide as her arms and hugs with her whole being.

That casual side-hug while sitting down to lunch and the words of a dream mid-wife whispered close to my ear that has me brimming with tears that I thought long dried up.  The beautiful soul whom God gifted to me as a roommate, “separated at birth” she says as she’s plotting ways to keep me in the South, has cared for me and my tired with a thread of friendship that is growing stronger every hour.

And my heart feels like it’s been battered and busted and bruised in the best possible ways.  As fire burns through my soul I can feel God scooping out the dross. The fear and the doubt that has risen to the surface.  He has cupped His hands around the scum so that there is nothing but pure gold running through His fingers as the Refiner stirs my heart once again.

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