In the Desert There is Enough

The cheque arrived in the mail.  It wasn’t expected.  It wasn’t even a lot of money.  It arrived during a time when I was beginning to doubt this calling God has placed on my life.  It came when I was sure that I had heard wrong. That really, quitting my job, reducing our household income by 50 % wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had.

And fear it can shadow trust. Fear it can cloud your vision. Fear can blind you to faith and seeing God’s provision.  But perhaps, more significantly, fear can make you want to turn tail and run back to where you came from, simply because it’s all you know.

The cheque it sits on the table.  It’s from the Insurance company.  And I quickly grab my phone,  Instagram a picture and make some witty comment on Facebook/Twitter about living in an alternate reality because that must be the only way one receives a refund from an Insurance company.  And in the middle of the quippy replies and shared laughs comes a small voice with a comment about God showing me His provision.  I am not proud to report that I sloughed it off.  Nodded my head and muttered “huh uh” under my breath and moved on. 

I never could get that moment out of my head.  And this past week the next step in my God Sized Dream became my reality when I sat down to my goodbye lunch at work. If I told you I wasn’t anxious, or that fear wasn’t clawing in the back of my brain trying to capture my thoughts and devour my dreams I would be lying.  And I’ve been wrestling with slaying my fear dragon and trusting in God’s provision ever since when there is a tiny part of me that would just like to walk away from what I know is my path simply because I don’t know what’s around the corner. 

So I’ve been grumbling and complaining quite a bit because, really, life is going to change. A lot.  Things will be different and finances will be tight and just going to the store to buy what you need is so much easier than having to trust God that there is enough.

And, on Sunday my mind was once again brought back to that cheque and God’s provisions when I read this.

There, too, the whole community of Israel complained about Moses and Aaron. If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt, they moaned. There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death. (Exodus 16:2, 3 NLT)

It’s so easy to forget the truth when fear has you paralyzed.  Really??  The Israelites may have had all the bread they wanted, their bellies my have been full but…
They were slaves.

They were whipped, beaten and oppressed

They watched their first born sons being thrown into the Nile.

The God of Israel, the One who promised Abraham his descendants would outnumber the stars,  delivered them from all of this and yet they grumbled and complained.  It is a certain soul amnesia when we can’t look back and see how God directs our paths.

And God in HIs merciful ways once again proves the love He has for His people when He tells Moses.

Look, Im going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they will gather food, and when they prepare it, there will be twice as much as usual. (Exodus 16:2-5 NLT)

So the grumbling stops for a bit as Moses relays God’s message…

I have heard the Israelites complaints. Now tell them, In the evening you will have meat to eat, and in the morning you will have all the bread you want. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’” (Exodus 16:12 NLT)

He makes sure that they have everything they need.  He makes sure there is ENOUGH.  First He sends meat in the form of quail, the bible says it “covered the camp.” – God is not in the business of half way solutions.  His provisions are complete.  It’s what He sent next that had me pausing mid read.

When the dew evaporated, a flaky substance as fine as frost blanketed the ground. The Israelites were puzzled when they saw it. What is it? they asked each other. They had no idea what it was… (Exodus 16:14, 15 NLT)

“What is it…?”

 

There’s that cheque again.  The one sitting on my dining room table. My “what is it?” – my manna from God.

And that small voice in my Facebook comments – my modern day Moses…

And Moses told them, It is the food the Lord has given you to eat. (Exodus 16:15 NLT)

And I can imagine him, Moses, doing a giant face palm right there and then.  I can also see him struggling to resist the giant “DUH!” wanting to escape his lips.  God had provided and yet they still had to ask “What is it…?”

And this manna, this “what is it,” it was enough.  It didn’t matter how much the people picked up they had what they needed.

And yet, they still doubted.  They still grumbled, they still hoarded and filled their pockets to the brim hoping to save some for a rainy day.  Well they were in for the shock of their lives the next day when they found rotten food crawling with maggots.  God had said I will care for your needs and He said he would do it daily and the Israelites did not trust Him.  Just like I don’t trust Him.

When Jesus taught us to pray, He taught us these words “Give us this day our daily bread…” not “give us enough so that we can stuff our cupboards to bursting.”

God’s provisions cover our lives like the manna covered the ground in the desert.  His provisions are a daily occurrence, just like it was for the Israelites for 40 years until they made it to the Promised Land.

May I have the courage to wake up to see His provisions every morning.  May I never doubt the enough that blankets the ground of my life like the dew blanketing the desert.

So I move forward, for with God there is enough… always.

3 Comments

  1. Stephenie Terris

    so proud of you.

  2. Oh I LOVE this, sweet friend! The New and the Unknown is scary and risk and we can either worry and fret, or we can remember that He has never let us down… left us to fail… even through hard times – He is right there with us and He uses it all to bring about the Good plans that He has for us. He is enough… He’s got this!

    Love you!
    ~K~

  3. So beautiful 🙂 right where I have been all morning thank you for sharing that 🙂

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