Five Minute Friday – Small

Five Minute FridayYou know it!!! It’s Friday.  My favourite day of the week where I write without worrying about anything.  It’s simple really, write for five minutes, no over-editing, no back tracking, just words on a screen.  You’ll want to head over to Lisa-Jo Baker’s to join in the fun and read the awesomeness.

There are days when I feel small in this online frenzy of a community I belong to.  Days when I doubt my own skills and talents, the ones that God gave me. I sit down to write and the cursor flashes at me in  a mocking tone and taunts and dares me to write my heart.  Sometimes what I do feels so insignificant.

And I’m ashamed to admit it here, but when the comments section on a post is filled with silence I wonder what’s the point.  And that silence can make me feel like I don’t belong, like I’m Thumblelina in a world of writing Giants.

Just today, when I checked my email for the thousandth time looking for that satisfaction that comes from seeing one person read my words and be blessed by them.  I felt small.  And dumb. And oh so shallow-minded.

I realized today that I’m the only one who can reduce what I do to small.  I’m the only one who makes insignificance shout louder than the truth. I do all of those things when I lose sight of the purpose. When I lose sight of the fact that I write only as a means of sharing my story.  I write in hopes of having others, you, read my words and find beauty in your own story, despite your circumstances.

There is no small in words.  There is nothing small about a community that comes together and loves and shares with abandon.  And on Thursday nights when I sit down to my computer I feel so drawn to all of you.  All of you, who have come up and around and surrounded me with more love than I thought possible.  We share hearts and lives, heartaches and sorrow and laughter.

There is no small in words.  There is only beauty that comes from within.  What I write here, the words that grace this screen, the ones that even right now you’re reading come straight from the bottom of my heart. I offer them to all of you, this crew of fearless writers, because it is the only way I know how to show you all how big my love is for you.

I stand before you today and beg for grace from this community that I have come to know, that you would forgive my petty thoughts.  Please know that I long to hear your story too and I consider it a humble privilege to read your hearts every single day.

There is no small in words.


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