Cloudy Vision

I don’t like the days when I feel like I have thoughts floating around my head but when I put pen to paper nothing comes out.   I try and pull on strings of words and phrases and I feel like I am left with nothing but a jumble of thoughts, incoherent and scattered.  Those days scare me the most because I wonder, do I truly have what it takes to enter this dream of writing.  Do I truly have the courage to lay a soul bare and send out fractured pieces of me.  Can I rest in the fact that He has provided me with all that I need to awaken to His wonder for me?

I ponder this, this morning as I think about this past week and behind the busyness, behind the normal schedule of days there has been an underlying mood of laziness, of cocooning myself from learning and growing. 

And, while I have cracked open the spine of God’s word I feel like each sentence, each phrase stops short of entering my soul – It’s like looking through lenses that have been fingerprinted and smudged. 

How can faith blossom when sight is fatigued?

How can hope flourish when eyes only see half of God’s wonder?  And why do I keep coming back to this place  – this place where a certain amnesia of the soul always compromises my joy?

This fledgling faith it requires constant nourishment – food from God’s word, food from His spirit infusing with mine – this is what awakens my soul.  This is what clears my vision so that I can see clearly and come boldly into His glorious throne room.

And habits, they come in both the good and the bad – and there are days when it’s hard to separate the two.  When resting in Him seems to be the chore and seeking Him the inconvienence.  

This seeing of beauty it must be done through the lens of Him – it is only His word, only His mercy, only His glory that cures the myopic state and awakens us to the wonder of Him.

I need to wear His word like clothes, a deliberate dressing of His commands and of His Spirit.  These must each be worn with care, fastened securely to my life lest I fail to see God’s handiwork and feel the spirit moving. 

“Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart”   Proverbs 3:3


2 Comments

  1. Love this… Wear His words like clothes. I fail to see God’s handiwork…amen I do the same thing.

    • I think Jennifer that we often forget the wonder of God… So glad that His mercies are new every morning – so everyday is a new outfit. Praying that you will be awakened to God’s wonders for you!

Leave a Reply