Behind the Scenes – Spaces

crystalstine.me  Well, I’m a little late to the party today but I love this link up of Crystal’s so much that I couldn’t NOT link up.  The idea is simple, show a photo and tell us the behind the scenes.  What wasn’t in the frame that would give the reader the whole story.  Want to join in the fun head on over here.

 
 

The Photo 

This is where I sit every most mornings.  My day starts at 5:30.  The alarm clock startles me awake, I spend some time wishing for more sleep but most days I grab my grey morning sweater and struggle to get my arms through the sleeves.  As you can see by the picture my first stop before my office is my Keurig (well really, it’s the bathroom but I digress), I cannot imagine doing my morning quiet time with out the cup,  pail of caffeine. 

You can also tell in this picture that I often light a candle.  There is just something about the warm glow of the flame that helps chase the night away.  When the wick lights it reminds me that dawn comes every day and with it His new mercies.

What you can’t see in this picture, thank the good Lord, is how my hair is sticking straight up, looking wildly for a comb.  You can’t see that the mascara that I was too lazy to wipe off before bed the night before is smeared in line-backer fashion under my eyes.  You can’t see my mismatched pyjama bottoms and tops and ummmm… the fact that I haven’t yet donned the required female support garment.  You can’t see the slippers that should have been put out of their misery a long time ago, the ones with the soles that are barely there and the who-knows-what covering the toes.  You can’t see the pile of kleenex that didn’t quite make it to the garbage pail.  Please don’t judge it’s too early to be bending under tables.

You can’t see the struggle that I go through almost every day to make it this far.  How most mornings I wish that the blanket could go over my head and I could ignore this part of my day.  You can’t see how easily distracted I am by my phone and how the guilt of that just eats at me through most of my devotions (There is another post in this somewhere, but I’m still coming to grips with my possible Twitter addiction 🙂 ). 

You can’t see that some mornings, no matter how much I read or write in my journal I just still feel so empty – like I’m reading words and not really absorbing.  You can’t see how frustrated I get when I don’t come out of my office at 6:30 and feel as I have just had the most amazing 5 course meal with Jesus.  There are some mornings that feel like I’ve only had bread and water rations.

But…

You also can’t see how God sometimes waits until 2PM in the afternoon before He blindsides me with the truth I’ve found in His word at 5:30.   How a friend reaches out and reminds me that He is always with me, as in, He never leaves me.  Ever.  You can’t see that my struggle for truth and fellowship with God has taken me places that I could have only imagined.  Taking time for Him and with Him has opened doors in my heart I long thought sealed shut. 

You can’t see that above my desk is a reminder that says “above all else… love,” and another that says “dream,”.  You can’t see the picture of my husband looking right at me through the lens with the love and care of 21 years.  You can’t see the books that line the shelves, the words of wisdom, that are just waiting for the day when I have the time to crack their spines.

You can’t see that I am so grateful for this space to call my own and that I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to create and write and escape in this small room with the warm butter-yellow walls and surrounded by some of my favourite things. 

You can’t see that I would love nothing more than to invite each of you over to hop up on the day bed and share hearts and cuppas. 


16 Comments

  1. I’m stopping by from Crystal’s link up. I think we all have those mornings. It’s so true that we can feel like we haven’t been filled during that time, but then God uses those lessons from that time for a later time.

  2. Love those mornings, and also miss them. Can’t quite maintain my old style with kids. 🙂

    • It’s hard isn’t it? Balancing being a mom and still finding bits of you-space. Hope you’re enjoying your time with your new sweet babe friend.

  3. Tonya, I haven’t linked up with Crystal, but love her new link-up and dearly loved your post. My mornings feel so similar. I feel that struggle and frustration many mornings. At the same time I know I don’t want to give up those morning…because He does…he does have this way of using the lessons when I least expect it.
    Blessings to you. Thank you for this today.
    Much love,
    Beth

    • Beth – so happy you stopped here. And a whispered encouragement? We would love to have you over at Crystal’s on Tuesday. Praying that you find Him in those mornings.

  4. OK, I’m a little jealous that you have a “space”. It looks so peaceful! I will admit that my physical state of being is similar to yours when I sit down to read my Bible. I do my quiet time at the kitchen table, on the couch, or wherever I can score a few minutes of peace and quiet. Sometimes it’s a struggle to get 5 minutes to read a verse and pray, but I believe God honors that time just as much as He honors the times I spend 30 minutes meditating on His word. It counts. Whatever you do to meet Him, it counts.

    And as for your “possible” Twitter addiction… being put in “Twitter jail” once might be an accident, but twice looks like a pattern, my friend. 🙂

    • I just got my space… when my daughter moved away to school and I love every inch of it… someday… you’ll have that quiet corner to call your own. I am just learning that 5 minutes of time with Jesus is just as important and impactful as 5 minutes… love the freedom of that.

  5. Love your honesty! I can relate in so many ways. I admire your commitment to early mornings too!

  6. I love your honest description of your mornings with God. I have tried and tried to do morning quiet time but never made it. Then I would feel such quilt that I would just want to give up so I changed things up. I do read a verse each morning from my calendar. Then I spend my lunch hour studying to teach my bible study class and finally I spent some time at night. I seem to absorb more when the quilt is there. Thank you so much for sharing.

    PS I love your Twitter addiction.Keep Tweeting

    • Amy,

      Love to hear from you… always and love how you are finding your own ways to meet with him beyond the guilt… He honours it friend… you need to know He honours it…

  7. I love this! It made me smile so much to have this peek into your mornings. My morning quiet time is hard…it’s been a lesson in discipline and one I often fail at…but I am finding that when I take the time to meet with Him, He speaks somehow. It’s not always earth shattering, but that’s ok. 🙂 And I’m with you on the coffee…I’m non-functional when I’m pre-coffee. It can be ugly…coffee is always a good idea. Always. 🙂 Blessings, sweet sister…you are such an encouragement to my heart!

    • Mel… Smiles here. I too am very grouchy pre-coffee 😉 He blesses your faithfulness friend… whenever you meet with Him… and He never leaves you EVER… even when you feel like you’re missing something… Praying for you.

  8. Oh girl, you have no idea how badly I wanted to crawl back under the covers AFTER my Bible study this morning! But what a promise – the truth we read at 5:30 coming back to lift us up in those weary afternoon times. It’s worth it 🙂

    • I here ya… and unfortunately this morning… I did just that… it’s a struggle isn’t it finding our way through the weary… Praying for you friend… Hugs xx

Leave a Reply