Behind the Scenes – Disorganized Chaos


The Photo

Confession?  I am a horribly disorganized person.  This not to be confused with the fact that I am a planner.  I love to plan things.  I love to have a schedule and stick with it.  But ask me to organize something and well, ahem… I am a MESS!!!  
I have tons of fabulous ideas and they run through my head faster than my son’s Call of Duty video game fights, but actually sitting down and planning it out? Putting things on paper? Setting goals?  Well, I turn into a quivering mass with barely an inteligible and coherent thought.
I have been blogging for just over a year and at the beginning it was very fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants.  I would post once every 7-10 days, if that.  I had someone meticulously edit all of my posts because heaven forbid I let y’all know that I make {gasp} mistakes. And then, somewhere around January of this year something clicked in my writing.  
Once a week just wasn’t good enough any more.  I had words and they burned in me like a wildfire.  There were moments when I couldn’t get them out fast enough.  The blog posts came more frequently, 3-4 per week.  I stopped sending them to be edited because really, who wants to do that more than once in a while? 
And with this furious pace of words came the unmistakable and almost unshakeable moments of failure.  How could I possibly measure up to writing with more intention?  Would these words even be read?  And if so, by whom, the spammers who continously frequented my comments letting me know about this, that or the other thing they were selling?  
I was swimming in a sea of disorganized and I wasn’t sure I could keep my head above the waves.  And I’ve been treading water ever since.
Two things happened to me in the past few weeks that very well may change the way I approach this gift from God that burns inside of me.  The first was this Twitter DM that I had with the host of this lovely link up.  I finally gathered the courage to tell someone my fears and Crystal was right there with all of the beautiful wisdom and encouragement that she had in her #ninjabenchbuilding tool bag. 
She directed me to the planning kit in the photo at the top of this post.  And I’ve got to tell you this disorganized, totally scattered, easily distracted writer loves it.  That’s a capital “L”, as in I am over the moon, head over heals, smitten, in love with it.  It is so easy to use and Kat Lee from How They Blog seems to know what a writer needs to keep writing.  I can’t wait to see how God is going to help me accomplish my goals. 
I also learned this week that I am technologically inept!  I attempted to insert HTML code for Google Analytics and well, erm… ah… I BROKE my blog.  Thank The Lord that Vanessa over at Hearts on Guard knows what the heck is going on because I ended up making her an admin for like 20 minutes so she could undo the disaster I left in my wake. 
It was after this that I realized I needed help and once again Crystal showed up with her superhero cape and pointed me in the direction of Fistbump Media.  I watched the most awesome webinar on blog design and learned that I’m doing some things right and well, a lot of things wrong.  But most importantly there are people out there smarter (at least in this area) than me who can help me figure this out. 
So I tell you this very long winded tale to remind you that God is in the business of helping us accomplish our dreams.  He wants nothing more than to help us use the gifts that He has granted us and that He will place people and opportunities in our lives to accomplish our desires.  
The catch?  And yes there is one.  You have to be willing to step out on limb.  You have to be willing to reach out ask for help and open your eyes to all the God has given you.  This week God gave me Crystal (BIG smooshy hug for you right here, Crystal), an awesome planning kit and the knowledge that I can make a difference. 


  1. You are too sweet girl! Always happy to help 🙂

  2. I love it! There is nothing more beautiful than bravery. You are so right that stepping out on a limb (aka Faith) is the key to moving forward on our dreams. I can’t wait to see where God takes you on this journey! And I’m thrilled to know you’re enjoying the kit!

    • Kat, Thanks so much for stopping by here! And I too am so excited to where God takes me on this journey. Getting my dreams (goals) on paper seems so surreal. Like I’m shouting them instead of whispering! Thanks for making the Kit and for the shares today!

  3. Thanks for sharing today! Looks like some great resources I might have to go check out! 🙂 Isn’t it fun when God brings us other people to help accomplish the dreams He’s placed in our hearts? 🙂

    • Cathy, I don’t know why, but I am always amazed when God lines things up so that I can see my dreams in vivid technicolour – and the resources… well can I just say that you won’t regret any of them!

  4. “He wants nothing more than to help us use the gifts that He has granted us and that He will place people and opportunities in our lives to accomplish our desires.” I am so thankful He does place those people in our lives.

  5. Girl, we are fated to be roomies. I call myself a “frustrated perfectionist”, because I crave order but because it seems out of reach, I’ve given up. However, I did finally get the Blog Planner printed out. 🙂

    • I love it “Frustrated Perfectionist” – sounds like something that needs to go in my bio! And I am so happy that we are roomies 🙂 Glad you got the planner printed out – it’s very simple to use – not gonna lie you’ve got to commit some time to it but so worth it!

  6. Great post! I too used to send everything I wrote to be edited. And then I thought, “If God called me, then I can do this.” It became so much less stressful and though I make plenty of mistakes, I’m free to be who I am and who God wants me to be. I’ve written two books, and have an editor for those, but my every day blog is just me.
    I enjoy your writing and your honesty! Happy Tuesday!

    • Friend, thank you so much for you comments here. And you’re right – He has given me what I need to use my gift for Him. Happy Tuesday to you too!

  7. Love this! You are such a blessing, and I know that you are going to continue to be that blessing to so many MORE people in the future! And thanks you for the encouragement to buy the Blog Planning Kit…I really can’t wait to get started! 🙂 Happy Tuesday, sweet friend!

    • Mel, I love knowing that when I see your sweet name in my inbox that your words will be exactly what my heart needs to hear. Enjoy your kit! {hugs}

  8. OOooh – look at that fancy shmancy notebook!!! 😉 I love this! (and I watched that webinar too… AND printed out the blog kit! Hoping this week to actually sit down and read through it!)

    Love you girl!

  9. I have also been a victim of ‘broken blog syndrome’ – ; ) Glad you were able to get it done!!!

    • Panic does not even begin to describe what I went through the other night. Thank goodness Vanessa had a spare superhero cape to put on and she rescued me!

  10. I love this as I love so many of your posts Tonya. And I feel like I’m on a similar journey with my own blog – loving the notebook, and the kit, and the webinar … it’s a blessing all these supporting pieces, isn’t it? I’m so grateful for God’s leading in this journey. Looking forward to the day when I can sit down face to face and share some time with you!

  11. I almost thought I was reading my own blog post for a second! Disorganized and full of so many ideas it’s almost paralyzing…me to a T! I also went and downloaded that blog planning kit last Friday after someone recommended it on the FMF twitter party. I’ve read through and watched the video but still need to print it out and get to work!! You definitely have a gift with words, and I can’t wait to watch your dreams unfold!! Xo!

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