A Letter to My Mom on My 42nd Birthday: Behind the Scenes

 I’m linking up with Crystal Stine today for Behind the Scenes.  Won’t you join us as we tell the story behind the picture. Just click here.  

The Photo: circa 1971

Dear Mom,

I was born at the end of summer. The world lush and green, the fields burgeoning with harvest. On this day 42 years ago your body bent with the ancient task of delivering me. All 10 pounds, 2 ounces of me. 
And today, I wanted to spend some time celebrating you, the woman who gave me life and who still carries me in her heart, because that’s a forever thing.  After 42 years there are a few things that I need you to know.  
It’s taken me some time, heartache has long been a companion for us both, but I am beginning to see that what is in me comes from you.  The best parts of who I am and what I am becoming are because of the life and wisdom that you have breathed into me from the moment you knew that I was nestled there in the dark of the womb. 
From the time I spent in your arms, my nose tucked in that soft spot on your neck, and warmed it with my breath,  and even those times when my cute baby cuddle turned to all out toddler rage, you have been a safe haven for me and my heart. 
And looking back sometimes it’s hard to see the good among the turmoil but I wanted to tell you those things that I remember.  The ones that still bring a smile to my face and fill me with the greatest sense that I was loved and wanted. 
The day I broke my arm falling off of my trike.  Do you know I still remember you holding me in the back seat as we drove to the hospital, you cradling my arm and wiping away my hot messy tears. 

The day I came home from school and the bedroom Johanna and I shared had been transformed into a blue-flowered wonder, fit for a princess.  Curtains and ruffles all sewn by your hand. 

The costumes for Halloween that arrived in the mail.  You couldn’t be there for the Trick or Treating but we wore you on our backs as we ventured out for treats. 
Experiencing the wonders of the Rockie Mountains for the first time with you by our side. 

My Grade 8 graduation.  There were so many kids and not a lot of money but somehow you managed new red shoes and a handbag from Brennan’s Shoes in Strathroy. I felt like a grown up on that day. 

The day you put me on  plane to move thousands of miles from home to start a new adventure.  I remember clinging to you and both of us a tear soaked mess.  It was a long flight for me and longer drive home from the airport for you. 

The day you kidnapped me telling me no bride does her own hair on her wedding day.  I had a right proper hair appointment and loved the way the wreath you made sat upon my head. 

And when I gave birth to my own first daughter you were there holding my hand, massaging my feet,  capturing moments and even holding the basin when Mikayala in all of her 9 pound wonder slipped from me.  

That day in the market, not too long ago, when I shared the pain of my anxiety with you, and you captured my tears in the palm of your hand.  Even now the screen is blurry as my heart recalls the depth of your love for me. 

And just last week through the same hot tears you placed your arms around me as soul healing took place and I shook with sobs.
Mom, you have been part of my heart for as long as I can remember.  I know that my actions have sometimes indicated otherwise, but just know that as much as I am in your heart, you are in mine. 
I love you… to the moon and back.


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